I lay in bed last night thinking about what alcohol, or a "drink problem" really does to you. It is often regarded - by yourself and those around you - quite flippantly, without any reality to what the problem really is, what it does to you and whether you will ever get over it, whether you will cease to be an alcoholic.
Personally, I'm looking forward to a drink-free life but I accept that throughout my life alcohol will raise its ugly head from time to time and when it does this it can be a difficult fight, it can be a real bitch because maintaining the truth, remembering that I am an alcoholic, that I am addicted to alcohol can be hard to keep on board. The actual problem all too often drifts away, you forget what it actually means to you, possibly you have a couple of pints while you think about it and bang, back to square one again.
At present I feel good about the situation. At present alcohol is not causing a problem today, or more to the point, alcohol is not causing a problem right this minute. The very moment that I finish my cup of tea things may well change.
Without reason, without intention - but things may well change. I need to remain aware of this, it's no good forgetting or giving up. The second that I do, I'm in the shit - again.
I don't want there to be an "again" ever again.
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