Middle of the week

It's the middle of the week now and there has been no problem over the last few day. No drink-related ones anyway. I do occasionally have pretty stupid thought like "I could do with a half and a half at the hotel!" but they don't last long. I don't get upset or worked up by thoughts like that either. They will not go away but they will become less regular, further apart - if I stay on track. Otherwise, well you can probably guess, you can see in your mind, pictures of me spinning downhill towards the cheap booze that I don't like but will possibly drink in desperation anyway.

I don't want to do that. I can't afford to do that, either financially, physically or mentally. I've managed to get through it all so far. I know that I cannot take these risks anymore.

If you have similar problems, have a look at Bright Eye, I hang around there a lot and it does me a lot of good.

Go on, give it a try!!!

Staying sober - Or trying anyway

When I first took it upon myself to give up drinking in, oh, 2009 it started relatively easily and I was alcohol-free for about thirteen months. There were no problems with it, apart from the normal thoughts like, "Goodness, could do with a drink tonight!!!" Where it says "tonight", please read that as either tonight, this afternoon, this morning - or right bloody now!!!

These thoughts waned after a short time though and after that lived only in my memory. That allowed me to stay off the drink for thirteen months and I was justifiably delighted with that. It had not been as difficult as I had expected, it allowed me to feel good about myself which is really beneficial, believe me. I started jogging too, I was certainly benefitting from the lack of alcohol.

Then I had a drink to celebrate my sobriety. Yes, I know that is senseless, stupid, whatever - but it happened. It wasn't just a dramn or a pint to celebrate, to say to myself "Well done!", oh no, it was a pure, unadulterated blinder and took a number of days to come off it.

Then I was dry for a month, had a demon drink again, off for three until it was time to celebrate again and then off for another short time - and it annoys me, it really annoys me.

If, after thirteen months I hadn't fallen by the wayside and celebrated my sobriety with a drink, or if I had some sense and celebrated it with another coffee and a chat here on Bright Eye then the other disasters may well not have happened. If that was the way of it then I would have been sober, alcohol-free, for a year and ten months.

I haven't had a drink for a fortnight now but I feel like I'm almost at the beginning again. That won't stop me though, it won't make it anymore difficult than before because if there is one thing that I have within me it's determination.

I do not drink.