No booze for me......

I drank on christmas eve and on the day itself but have remained dry since then. I will do my very best to stay off the demon too. Considering that I was off the drink for thirteen months when I first gave it up, I reckon that I can do it and more, again. This time around I have every intention to stay off it for life because it does you no favours at all. Lets face it, you get nothing other than an empty wallet and a hangover.

So, I'm in my second week of no alcohol, all the way through the New Year and it's working out quite well. No great difficulty, no sweats or shakes and the best one - no hangovers either, so it's hopefully going to be continued for a long, long time. I haven't been to the pub and let's face it, tea and coffee work out cheaper, both physically and mentally, not to mention financially.

I do intend to stay away from the demon drink for a long time. I do not see any point in going back to it, the main reason being that I'm an alcoholic. I can never get away from that, I always will be an alki but I can die a sober one and I can spend more money on food in the run up to that, if I stay off the demon.

So it's cheers to no alcoholic drink and cheers to as much tea and coffee, orange juice and lemonade that I can pour down my throat.

Sobriety rules for me now :))

Today, I want a drink

Today, I want a drink. To be honest, I don't just wan't a drink, I want the bottle, I want everything alcoholic that I can get my hands on and if I'm still concious after that then I've not had enough and I need more. I need my unconsciousness, I need to escape my concept of reality. I need my easy road out.

I've not had a drink for what, three and a half months. I drank on New Years Day and that , in itself, was pretty insane and it feels as if that time is on its way again.

There's a bit of a shake to the hands today so I keep them in my pockets, or I keep them busy doing something - usually something pretty useless but hey, if it means that they're busy then it's better than fuck all, isn't it and you or your partner or the person standing beside you won't notice, there will be nothing given away, no physical admission of alcoholism.

Those three and a half months that were free of alcohol went well. I'm pretty annoyed that I drank when I did but it's done now, I screwed up, fell by the wayside, whatever you want to call it. Whatever you say, I'm honest but coarse - I fucked it big-style.

I'm sitting here, looking out of the living-room window, watching a hungry robin helping itself from the feeder and loving it. I hope that I don't break down and head of to the shop and buy my my milk and bread - and something that you all can guess about.

But I could murder a fucking drink right now.