No booze for me......

I drank on christmas eve and on the day itself but have remained dry since then. I will do my very best to stay off the demon too. Considering that I was off the drink for thirteen months when I first gave it up, I reckon that I can do it and more, again. This time around I have every intention to stay off it for life because it does you no favours at all. Lets face it, you get nothing other than an empty wallet and a hangover.

So, I'm in my second week of no alcohol, all the way through the New Year and it's working out quite well. No great difficulty, no sweats or shakes and the best one - no hangovers either, so it's hopefully going to be continued for a long, long time. I haven't been to the pub and let's face it, tea and coffee work out cheaper, both physically and mentally, not to mention financially.

I do intend to stay away from the demon drink for a long time. I do not see any point in going back to it, the main reason being that I'm an alcoholic. I can never get away from that, I always will be an alki but I can die a sober one and I can spend more money on food in the run up to that, if I stay off the demon.

So it's cheers to no alcoholic drink and cheers to as much tea and coffee, orange juice and lemonade that I can pour down my throat.

Sobriety rules for me now :))

I will still be an alki

Over the last wee while I've not done too badly. I've stuck to the tea and coffee, the juice and the tins of coke. When there is stuff like that in the house for me then there's less excuse for the demon drink to raise its ugly head.

It hurts though. The fact that this problem, that I control quite well, will last for ever, regardless of how well I do in staying away from alcohol, I will die an alcoholic. That is the painful bit.

The pain is not justifiable, well, not to me anyway. Why should I make so much effort and succeed in what I am  trying for and still it goes on.

When it comes to the last of my days, I will still be an alki, a bevvy artist - but that's life I guess.

But I will have a bit more cash in my pocket and perhaps less of a beer belly.

There is always hope :))

Alcohol in my blood

Yesterday, I had my last drink. No more alcohol in my blood  from now on because it does me no favours at all.

It dumbs me down, it makes me do stupid, dangerous things and then when I sober up I have no knowledge of the stupid things that I've done. Inherently insane.

No more, I'll stick to the tea and coffee et al ;))

I'll skip it, this time around

The last wee while has been alright regarding alcohol. There are always problems, of course. Either you don't want to or can't afford to pay a bill, or the cat, dog or the pet orangutan won't stop pissing on the carpet, regardless, there are always things to bother you but at the moment I'm doing pretty well. I haven't got an orangutan!!!

And the biggest thing that is going the right way? I don't want any alcohol. I could swing for a cup of tea but booze? Nah, I'll skip it, this time around.

If things change then hey, I'll let you know, but at the mo' it's good so, fingers crossed, I'll beat the thirteen months that I did before.

If I die before I drink again then pass the word around, will you?

Saturday and society

It's a Saturday and I've just had my lunch (two sandwiches and a cuppa, I'm on a diet). Not so very long ago I would have been out of the door sharpish and off to either the shop for a carry-out, or if I was feeling particularly sociable, straight into the local bar for a large number of half 'n' halfs, one of the halfs regularly poured down my throat in a oner and an eye kept on the other to make sure that it hadn't evaporated.

But this Saturday won't happen like that. They don't because that isn't my life now. Tea, coffee and lots and lots of biscuits, enough to bring me out in spots and I'll be happy enough.

No hangover tomorrow either.

And you know what - I feel good about it too, it's the lack of alcohol that causes it ;)

I've reached the two months now

I've done it, I've reached the two month stretch and I'll be honest - I'm really bloody pleased this time around.

When I first gave up I did thirteen months and I did it easily - and then I fell off the horse. To do a year and a bit without any alcohol I felt was good but then for a good while I was having a drink here, a drink there, sometimes not just "a drink" either.

Then I was six months free and feeling good about that, I was back on the horse and comfortable with it, no problem - until it was New Years Day and I spent eleven hours pouring liquid disaster down my throat. I got out of bed the next day with what I believe is called "A fucking hangover" but I might be wrong there, it might be called worse, probably is when I think about it.

No drink has passed my lips since then though, apart from the usual three gallons a day of tea, coffee, coke and orange juice but that won't hurt me any. That sort of thing doesn't generate a day of hell for the next day, in fact it causes the next day to feel pretty good, regardless of what the weather is like.

I have every intention of sticking it out this time around, to stick it out longer than the last time, in fact longer than the first time. In fact, if I never drink alcohol, booze, bevy, call it what you may again, it will be too soon.

A lifetime too soon.

By the end of today it will be two months sober!!!

By the end of today, if I have behaved myself and the depression has not hit, if I haven't slipped into the hotel while passing or bought whisky from the shop, then it will be two months since the last little slip-up. I'm like you  in many ways, I'm like the rest of Scotland, I can't afford to drink because it's so bloody expensive, whatever it is.

And I am like the other how many people that we all know, the "heavy drinkers", I wonder what sort of percentage of them are just heavy drinkers, as they claim to be and what percentage are actually alcoholics but won't admit it, perhaps don't realise it yet because there is still enough money in their pocket, they've still got a job and they've held onto their driving license.

You would be surprised if you found out the truth there - you might get worried and think about changing your habits.

Go on, do yourself a favour, before it all turns to shit.

I think that I do myself a favour every day that I stay sober, that I stay away from alcohol, from beer or whisky, from the drink that I used to enjoy, before it did turn to shit.

Can't go down that road again.

Please, don't even go to take a look, it's shit getting out of the hole again.

Back to the weekend

It's Saturday lunchtime and there is no booze in the house. I have no intention of going out to buy any either. I have even less intention of going to the bar at the hotel, just down the road.

Would you like to know why?

It's pissing down with snow - just not wandering weather today.

But it is coffee weather, it'll do me no harm at all!!!

Early night tonight

Think that I'll have an early night tonight. The latest copy of Web Designer has just come in so I'm going to make a pint or so of tea and take it off to bed with me (I've already had an early dinner) and the magazine will be under my arm as I climb into bed.

That'll keep me out of trouble, and booze, this evening.

No complaints about going to sleep sober!!!

A cup of tea

Might have alcoholism inflicted on me for the rest of my life but I could swing for a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit.

It's two days until the most difficult time

The most difficult time is just forty-eight hours away now. Saturday night is New Years Eve and can be a difficult time to stay sober. Let's face it, it can be a difficult time to stay conscious.

I'll happily be getting stuck in that night, no messing about. I won't be holding back with the cans of coke or the good, strong cups of tea either.

Oh, just about forgot the biscuits - I won't hold back there either, especially the chocolate ones. They might give me toothache but no worse than that.

Drink will be a lot worse though.

The working level's working

I commented yesterday on the fact that I was then on the working level of Acamprosate but in the back of my mind there was some concern. I was a bit worried as to just what else it would do to me. Twenty-four hours later it turns out (so far) to have been no more than paranoia as there is no other outcome showing head yet.

So far, so good, no desire for drink, alcohol, bevvy, whatever you choose to call it. The idea of having a cup of coffee or a cup of tea is more my thing at the moment.

There are no guarantees in this life but I'm hoping that I'll stand the pace, get away from the alcohol problem and biggest of all - stay away and not drift back.