I hope that you all enjoy yourselves

It's only a few days until Christmas now and I hope that you all enjoy yourselves, Santa is very generous to you and you can remain at least relatively sober throughout.

Personally, I don't like Christmas. It revolves around two things. Christmas is firstly an excuse to spend vast amounts of money in the so-called sales and secondly, a very large festival in a dying religion. Firstly, I no longer have any interest in the sales and secondly, I'm a practicing atheist so sod religion.

This makes it a pretty boring period for me and that tends to encourage drinking alcohol, which I do not want to do. When I do drink it, I drink far too much and considering that I am coming to the end of my third week totally sober, no alcoholic drink has passed my lips in this time and it would be good to keep this up for a year or two - or perhaps a lifetime - and this period that was, a long time ago, primarily a religious celebration means nothing but boredom to me. Therefore, it's a difficult time for me to stay sober.

I will certainly keep my computer on, allowing me to stay in touch with humanity. I will ensure that I am well fed throughout the period as that does help to keep me away from drink and I hope that it snows all the way through as I love snow.

And finally, if we all stay sober over the Christmas period then we will realise what a gross waste of money it really is.

Merry Christmas :))

Another day without drink or violence

It’s yet another day after the disaster that I mentioned yesterday, last Friday morning when she assaulted me. She was drunk at the time, very drunk and had been since the previous evening. I don’t know if the drink made her do it or if it just allowed her to do it as there is a difference but I don’t care because she just did it with hate in her eyes. That’s enough for me.

I’m an alcoholic, as I have said many times before but I do not lose control when I’m drunk. I’m not perfect but I have the sense to retain control but she apparently doesn’t. Was that the true self for me to see at last. If so, it could have come out sooner and a little less painfully. I don’t mean physically, I mean painfully emotionally, right in the heart.

I have a different view of alcohol now. I see what it can release in us, what it can allow to happen, for whatever reason and the damage that it can create, that it can cause to take place.

I still hope that she can remember what she did and why she did it. I hope that she can deal with the problems that the drink either allowed or caused to happen.

I continue to do my best to stay off the drink. Now I have another good reason to stay sober.

I can only hope for her!!!

Taken away

She got drunk, she struck me, she got taken away by the police. That happened a few days ago and is as good a reason that I can think of to stay off the drink.

Drink does that to some people. Not all, admittedly but too many to make it worthwhile. It gets people into trouble for no reason other than their loss of sense and that is because they have consumed too much alcohol for them to cope with. Why have they drunk so much? Because they are, like me, what is known as an alcoholic.

When I think about it, when I look back and consider what has happened due to alcohol in my life, I wonder why people drink it, why it is seen as a social drink and why it remains legal. Possibly because there are that many alcoholics that remain in denial just like she does.

I do not remain in denial. I fight it. I still cannot cope with drink but I fight it. Not all of us do that, do we?