Back to the weekend

It's Saturday lunchtime and there is no booze in the house. I have no intention of going out to buy any either. I have even less intention of going to the bar at the hotel, just down the road.

Would you like to know why?

It's pissing down with snow - just not wandering weather today.

But it is coffee weather, it'll do me no harm at all!!!

The Kinks - Alcohol

Middle of the week

It's the middle of the week now and there has been no problem over the last few day. No drink-related ones anyway. I do occasionally have pretty stupid thought like "I could do with a half and a half at the hotel!" but they don't last long. I don't get upset or worked up by thoughts like that either. They will not go away but they will become less regular, further apart - if I stay on track. Otherwise, well you can probably guess, you can see in your mind, pictures of me spinning downhill towards the cheap booze that I don't like but will possibly drink in desperation anyway.

I don't want to do that. I can't afford to do that, either financially, physically or mentally. I've managed to get through it all so far. I know that I cannot take these risks anymore.

If you have similar problems, have a look at Bright Eye, I hang around there a lot and it does me a lot of good.

Go on, give it a try!!!

Saturday's a bastard

It is a bastard if you want to stay off the bevvie anyway. If I wasn't staying off then tomorrow would be Sunday, all the time in the world to dry out (or so I would think), tons of coffee and maybe a bite to eat.

But today, Saturday, bastard or not is as good as any other day to stay sober. If I don't then it just screws up the other guff in my life, like epilepsy and depression and all the rest.

I paid all that money for the booze and look what it gave me, all those years ago. Funny, eh :))

Anti Nowhere League - So What

Survived last night

Survived last night but it was a bit of a bugger. I made sure and went to bed early so that I wouldn't - couldn't -  fall astray. If I had stayed up then I could have gone to the St Magnus Bay Hotel which is only a couple of hundred yards down the road from me. And the result of that? Poverty. Poverty and pissed, pissed as a newt but I held out on it.

I'll hold out tonight too. I might feel pretty desperate for a wee dramn tonight but it's not worth giving in. It may well be desperate but staying sober causes fewer problems than getting pissed so, although it might hurt a bit, I do know what's good for me.

I've got eight tins of coke in. I'll drink them instead.

And taking the Campral should stop me moaning too.

Not too good

No drink today but the need is there. It's a bitch, it really is. I'll try and have a good dinner, for a start, it won't do me any harm and it'll also give my mind something to work on. That does me a lot of good. Stops me moaning too.

Haven't had a drink for over a month and it's shit, I need one - or ten!!!

Wonder if some coffee will help???

Early night tonight

Think that I'll have an early night tonight. The latest copy of Web Designer has just come in so I'm going to make a pint or so of tea and take it off to bed with me (I've already had an early dinner) and the magazine will be under my arm as I climb into bed.

That'll keep me out of trouble, and booze, this evening.

No complaints about going to sleep sober!!!

I'll die sober and smiling

That's what - a month and three days with no alcohol and I feel pretty good. No desperation, none of the old shakes or sweats but I suppose that they might pop up, now and again.

One thing that does annoy me. When I first gave up, 14th September, 2009, I was off the drink for thirteen months and there was no problem at all, until........... Well, you've all heard the story before. If that story hadn't been there to be written, I would have been sober for about two and a half years. Just now though, a month.

I will get there though. I'll get past the two and a half years and I'll be smiling. I intend to get past ten years while sober and smiling.

I'll die sober and smiling.

Then I'll have fun :))

On the way home from the hospital

I had an appointment at the hospital yesterday and it all went as expected - 10.45 appointment, seen at 11.40. It's amazing just how many Mars Bars you can eat while seated. Anyway, I came out at twelve, got some lunch and did the shopping then looked at the time, 13.40. Time for the bus, 15.40. That meant that there were two hours to get rid of.

It was not the weather for staying outside so I went to the - pub.

Yes, that's right, I went to the pub and I got it right again. I had three tins of coke and was comfortable with that too.

Don't really want to have to tell you that I was boozing again, do I???

Nearly a month

That is very nearly a full month off the demon drink. A month off and no problems either. No shaking, no sweating and no desperation in my heart for a damn drink.

When I drank at the New Year I really fell off the horse and it was a bloody sore landing too. I suffered both mentally and physically but I've shaken the dust off now and plan to last a good long time sober, with my life in the control that I need for it. I need to stay sober because I can't stay drunk.

Possibly until after I pass away :))