Yet another weekend where drink was more important than anything else. Pissed as a newt for around about forty-eight hours, unsure of what all went down my throat and less sure of what all came back up. Only sure of one thing and that is - today is day one, again.
When I first gave up drinking it was easy, I made the decision to stop and walked the walk for over a year. Since then though, it's been different, unfortunately. A month off here, two or three months there, even six months once but then I trip up again.
Promises all too often made to myself, like "I'll need to go to the pub to see who's there!!!", only to wake up the next day with no memory of who was there. Or, "I'll get a couple of cans in for tonight." and find out the next day that I've poured twenty quid down my throat. The rubbish and lies that I can wind myself up with are really amazing and I fall for it all.
So, the question has to be, "When will the next day one turn up?" Tomorrow perhaps, possibly next week or even next month?
Why is it so difficult to do again what I did in the first place. Why, when it wasn't a problem then? Why did I fall of my bike after so long? What reason was there for me to trip up then and continue to trip up again and again ever since?
I spent over a year walking the walk, thirteen months in fact, about three years ago.
Will I ever be talking the talk?
| Don't want no more!!! |
Promises all too often made to myself, like "I'll need to go to the pub to see who's there!!!", only to wake up the next day with no memory of who was there. Or, "I'll get a couple of cans in for tonight." and find out the next day that I've poured twenty quid down my throat. The rubbish and lies that I can wind myself up with are really amazing and I fall for it all.
Why is it so difficult to do again what I did in the first place. Why, when it wasn't a problem then? Why did I fall of my bike after so long? What reason was there for me to trip up then and continue to trip up again and again ever since?
I spent over a year walking the walk, thirteen months in fact, about three years ago.
Will I ever be talking the talk?
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